EQ Part Five: Social Skills
“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
We end this series back where we started: getting along with others in order to elicit the best in them—and yourself—which is at the heart of a EQ, and the essence of effective leadership.
Emotional Intelligence requires interaction with other people in order for it to be demonstrated. This is not the case with IQ, where someone could be a hermit, write a book in solitude and have it published and not really have to be around other people most of the time.
read moreEQ Part Four: Empathy
“Only by examining our personal biases can we truly grow as artists; only by cultivating empathy can we truly grow as people.” ~ Jen Knox
In the course of my career I have found that people can confuse “empathy” with “sympathy.” Sympathy says “I feel for you;” empathy says “I feel with you.”
Empathy is required for effective people management, but it does not mean that you need to get all warm and mushy in order to improve your EQ (one of the main reasons people resist investing time into developing their EQ.) And it doesn’t mean you’ll be viewed as nice or likeable by everyone else; that’s something you can’t control.
read moreEQ Part Three: Motivation
“The only way to get people to like working hard is to motivate them. Today, people must understand why they’re working hard. Every individual in an organization is motivated by something different.” ~Rick Pitino
I have already plugged Daniel Pink’s latest book Drive and will recommend it to you again. He nails the three universal motivators for human beings: Autonomy, mastery and purpose. (For a brilliant 10 minute fast-action white board summary, click here).
But how does that apply to ‘motivation’ as viewed from the standpoint of developing one’s
read moreEQ Part Two: Self-Regulation
“There are certain emotions that will kill your drive; frustration and confusion. You can change these to a positive force. Frustration means you are on the verge of a breakthrough. Confusion can mean you are about to learn something. Expect the breakthrough and expect to learn.” ~Kathleen Spike, Master Certified Coach
Emotional Intelligence is a scientifically validated function of the human brain to process and utilize emotional information.
Another way to put it is “being smart with feelings.”
read moreEQ Part one: Self-Awareness
“Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence.” ~Robert K. Cooper. Ph.D.
I get a lot of questions about Emotional Intelligence so I thought for the next few weeks I’d break it down into bite-size pieces: What is it? Why is it important? How do you develop it?
Let’s start here: Emotional Intelligence is a core skill-set, grounded in science, that underlies your performance
read moreEQ x DO = IL
“Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe.” ~Winston Churchill
I had an interesting, but not unfamiliar, conversation with an elderly gentleman last night. An old family friend, he and his wife joined my family for dinner. In catching up and sharing current information regarding “what I’m doing these days” we ended up discussing the nature of the work I do corporately.
Which led to
read moreHumor: Our Saving Grace
“Humor is the great thing, the saving thing.
The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away,
and a sunny spirit takes their place.” ~Mark Twain
In an HBR summary on organizational resiliency, the ability to bounce back after disappointments depends on the ability to manage paradox: to find meaning and lightness in tough times. An important component of EQ is the ability to find humor—or lightness—in a situation. After the discussions of last week’s blogs, I thought we’d shine the spotlight in that direction
read moreMore on the “Pause” Button
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
~Victor Frankl
I’ve heard from a bunch of people off-line regarding this week’s MMM on “Who’s in Control?” Folks want to know how they’re supposed to “pause” when emotions run rampant within. Everybody knows they have the ability to choose a measured, reasonable response but it sure doesn’t feel like it in the midst of the feelings
read moreWho’s in Control?
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” ~Dale Carnegie
Raise your hand if you’d like to believe you’re in conscious control of your choices (i.e. your life)? Um, well, good luck with that…
I’ve been feeding again—as in my brain. I go through these periods when I devour books on various topics and wind my way down internet worm holes researching tendrils of interesting information. Recent corporate work has beamed the spotlight on the importance of EQ (Emotional Intelligence) in the workplace
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