“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.”
~Bernard Baruch

How many times have you uttered the words, “I wonder why…?” or “I wonder what..? or, “…how, where, when?”

Wondering is curiosity in action. It’s an invitation to engage our minds and bodies in an exchange of information, understanding and expansion.

And then there’s the word, “wonderful.” Full of wonder. A natural by-product of an inquisitive lens.

After a month of pondering curiosity and its effects I have some final thoughts. To summarize:

Curiosity:

• Builds resilience

If we choose to be curious about hurtful or confusing events we recover from them more quickly. There is usually something to be learned and curiosity, like a shovel, helps to unearth it a whole lot faster than digging with your hands.

• Reduces irritation

The word “judgment” comes to mind: There are two ways we apply that word. The first—discernment—is the positive side, if you will, and evokes the notion of making good decisions. The second, or flip side of the judgment coin, is “condemnation.” Maintaining a lens of curiosity through which we view the events of our lives reduces comparison—the floorboards in the condemnation house. It’s hard to be annoyed or frustrated while you’re being curious.

“Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.” ~William Arthur Ward

• Increases our capacity to learn

When we stop being curious, our brain—like a sponge—dries up. Curiosity, like water, is the antidote for a dry sponge; it increases the speed and absorption of our learning.

• Assists in developing a humble and open heart

The truly curious have no space for self-diminishment. There’s nothing enlightened about self-beratement. Part of remaining curious about life is a healthy dose of self-confidence. Just look at a healthy 3 year-old! They think they’re the neatest thing since sliced bread.

But neither do they self-aggrandize. There’s nothing enlightened about bragging. They simply stay open; open to new experiences, open to over-looking small slights, open to input and guidance. They believe in themselves even as they acknowledge their short-falls. The more they know, the more they know they don’t know.

• Expands delight

When I think of some of the world’s greatest spiritual leaders, what comes to mind is what I call the “twinkle” in their eyes. They display a sense of “wonder.” They smile a lot and laugh easily and often. Like a child. I think this is a direct result of an attitude of perpetual curiosity.

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.”  ~James Stephens

• Diminishes fear 

Curiosity overcomes fear of appearing foolish when we try something new. This is especially true as we age.

• Increases trust

• Perpetuates youth

Curiosity keeps you younger longer. Continuing to learn—keeping the mind active and engaged—is the surest way to extending the quality of life while you’re alive.

Personally, I think the quality of your “life” once you’re no longer physically breathing will be just fine, thank you. It’s THIS one that’s worth your time and effort to be curious about.

So have some fun with it. Be curious about yourself and your life and maybe stop judging it so harshly. Instead, maybe love it a little more.

And with that, I’m moving on from pondering the nature and effects of curiosity.

Wonder what I’ll write about next week?

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“An understanding of the natural world and what’s in it is a source of not only a great curiosity but great fulfillment.”                 ~David Attenborough

Teddy being curious...and looking for something to chew

Last week I wrote about puppies, and how their curiosity and resilience go hand-in-hand. I’ve had opportunity to put that theory into action this week while house-sitting a teething puppy.

This week, in honor of Mother’s Day, and as a result of the omnipresent media reminders of same on the airwaves and in print, one phrase jumped out at me: Be curious, not furious.

The context was mothering and how to stop yelling at your kids. “Be curious instead of furious,” said someone on air in response to a question. “It helps address the real issue and creates space for your children to actually want to communicate with you.”

It occurs to me that this is mindful advice for all of us: be curious about ourselves and others, not furious with ourselves and others.

Most anger is, to some degree or another, a reflection of un-met expectations. We may not think we have expectations (so many of them being sub-conscious), but we do have them, and when we feel furious it’s because they’ve not been met. We do it with our spouses, our bosses, our children—and ourselves.

When we view life through that lens—the lens of comparison—folks usually fall short. And when we do it with ourselves, we always fall short. Thus is perpetuated the “furious” cycle better known as resentment, guilt, and frustration.

Just think: What if you put on the “curious” filter instead? “Gosh, why might what she just did/said cause me to feel this way (whatever way that might be)?” That filter might actually lead somewhere better than complaining and blaming.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” ~Albert Einstein

me being curious...and wondering how long til they heal

As I gaze at my forearms, now looking as though I survived—but just barely—a fight with a briar patch (the result of earnest, vigilant puppy-coverage in the 11^th week of Teddy’s life, when he doesn’t realize the sharpness of his teeth and is only doing what a young dog does at that stage) I am attempting to maintain a lens of curiosity. He is, after all, only three month old pup experiencing his expanding world through his curious mouth. And he’s quick. Obviously quicker than me on more than one occasion.

I understand dogs; teething is a natural phase in a puppy’s growth cycle. And children for that matter; one can’t help but garner some war wounds when raising wee ones. What I’ve noticed (and what I wish I had realized sooner) is that maintaining a sense of curiosity seems to shove irritation aside. Like some big boy on the block, I never knew it packed such a punch. This on both our parts: me with my wounded sore wrists and Teddy with my behavioral corrections.

The more I ponder this whole notion of curiosity, which I must admit I have never really pondered before, the more I am beginning to realize that there is also a connection between a lens of curiosity and a loss of comparison.

Curious instead of furious: not a bad trade off.

“Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.” ~Leo Burnett

“Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last.”
~Samuel Johnson

My sister is out of town this week and having gotten a new Golden Retriever puppy three weeks ago, she didn’t want to board him at a kennel. So she asked if I might be willing to come stay at her house to puppy-sit, thereby providing a consistent structure so vital to a young pup.

Hmm, let me think about that…duh, yes! Is there anything more delicious than a small ball of golden fur? (Besides chocolate, I mean.)

This is one of the joys of my life, being mobile enough, flexible enough, and available enough to step in to assist family and friends on occasions such as this. I consider it an honor to be trusted to care for their animals or homes while they’re away. Just two weeks ago I had dog-sit for Koda, my son’s ten-year-old Husky.

“I would recommend to those persons who are inclined to stagnate, whose blood is beginning to thicken sluggishly in their veins, to try keeping four dogs, two of which are puppies.” ~Elizabeth von Arnum

I had forgotten, however, the constant nature of caring for wee ones, the necessity for routine and structure. This can be overlooked, to some extent, with older animals; they know more, have learned to “sit and stay.” They also have larger bladders.

It occurs to me that it is the same with humans; the older of our breed—at least the well-developed ones—have more control, less manic displays of energy, and a higher tolerance for disruption.

Disruption—when things don’t go the way we planned—is a major cause of anxiety in many people’s lives. Bouncing back from disruption of any kind is a learned skill, no different than a pup learning the basics: sit, stay, come, heel. It takes consistent repetition and practice.

Maybe that’s why so many mid-life folks struggle with disruptions—the forgotten item, the traffic jam, the sprained ankle, the disappointment. So busy are they with planning and preparing for any potential pitfall in life they fail to learn how to adapt when one inevitably occurs. They haven’t practiced enough to bounce back quickly.

“Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.”  ~Corey Ford

In order to learn resilience, people (and puppies) must be allowed to “fail.” They must be encouraged to explore, to make mistakes, and to try again. Unfortunately, as I see with many of my clients, too many are protected too much by their parents.  In attempting to help they can hobble their progeny for life; studies show that if a child doesn’t learn resilience by the time he/she is eighteen, they will struggle as adults when they experience the delays, disappointments and defeats inherent to life.

This is the luxury of youth: resilience. Puppies and children bounce back more quickly. They do not view “failures” as failures. Rather, they fall and rise in one motion. Everything is new and wondrous and worth the effort of exploration. Curiosity is their middle name.

I think part of emotional maturity is remembering—reconnecting with—a profound curiosity. To stir the napping child within and reawaken to what we once knew: that the world can be a place of exciting newness, a place of immense possibilities and limitless horizons. Perhaps this is what inspired T.S. Eliot to write the words, “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”

We could all use a little more “puppy-perspective” in our daily lives.

It not only assists to develop resilience, it makes life a lot more fun.

“Only the curious will learn and only the resolute overcome the obstacles to learning. The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence quotient.” ~Eugene S. Wilson

“Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece.” ~Nadia Boulanger

Speaking with a coaching client recently I asked how her holidays had been. Pretty good, she replied. But she noticed, she said, that it wasn’t until they ended that she realized they’d been quite enjoyable. It was in hindsight that she enjoyed them. That happened a lot, she remarked, that she enjoys things after the fact, not while they’re actually happening.

I can relate. I doubt there’s a mother alive who doesn’t wish she had paid more attention when her children were small—they grow so fast!—but then, mothers suffer from chronic exhaustion, a condition which obliterates one’s ability to fully enjoy anything except a solid night’s sleep.

But beyond tiredness (also a chronic condition in our corporate cultures) when we’re busy anticipating (or worrying about) the future, or feeling great (or guilty) about the past, we miss the magic of the present.

Intellectually, I think people understand this. Emotionally though, actually being present in the moment is probably the hardest thing for a human being to do. (That, and forgiveness—but that’s another topic for another day.)

“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”  ~Henry David Thoreau

I used to think life was quite complicated. And it certainly can be, or rather, we can certainly make it more complicated than it needs to be.  A lot of people do this, unwittingly, in order to fool themselves; unconsciously they make a mess and then clean it up. In this way they get to feel like they accomplished something.

Two steps back and two steps forward does not progress make.

Noticing what’s going on around you is one way to make real progress, but this requires slowing down. It’s hard to notice wild flowers on the side of the road if you blow by them at 130 km per hour.

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”  ~Socrates

We’ve become addicted to speed; our cars, phones, and the internet all feed our habit. “How fast can you get it done?” has become our battle cry. I suggest it may also become our death knell.

The human brain, as much as the body, requires rest as much as an athlete requires recovery time. Overused muscles become sore; an overused brain becomes stale. And an underused heart becomes atrophied.

It is in rest that we are renewed. Not only our bodies, but our brain and heart as well. Without times of slowing down, resting, and reflecting, we lose our focus, passion and determination. Perhaps this is why so many of our most important discoveries came to geniuses who were resting or sleeping at the time the flash of insight arrived.

If you want to be more effective in life, personally and professionally, if you’re searching for new kinds of answers to old questions, trying slowing down long enough to allow your brain—and heart—to hear the answers. They lie within.

But you can’t hear the whispers if you blow by them at 130 km per hour.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky is by no means
 a waste of time.”  - J. Lubbuck

“Delay is hateful, but it gives wisdom.” ~Pubilius Syrus

In search of blog topic, brilliance clouded by steady rain and delays in waking up, walking dog, waiting for coffee.

Conversation with son, Sunday morning, April 22^nd:

Salient background: 

[Andrew is my youngest son, 27 years old, a very smart young man and scratch golfer, captain of Baltimore Country Club, former club champ, playing in Maryland Golf Club Championship partner match play. He also works full-time and is studying for MBA two nights a week; he has a lot on his plate right now. I walked the back nine and watched him win his match last week; also walked the back nine yesterday, this time with his girlfriend, Jen, and saw him win again.

Weather news: 3” inches of rain expected. Major front moving across the Midwest into Northeast. First clouds appeared late afternoon Saturday. Rain all day Sunday into Monday.]

The phone rings at 9:00 am:

“Hey, Mom. What’re you doing?”

“Sitting in bed writing my blog. Trying to come up with something brilliant. What’re you doing?”

“Thinking about breakfast. Jen’s here and we were thinking of going down to Canton Square. Wondered if you’d like to go with us.”

“That’s really sweet, honey. I just got back from walking Koda in the rain, and am back in bed in my warm jammies drinking a cup of coffee. Not sure I want to get up and get dressed.”

“Ha ha! I can picture you.”

“I think I’ll stay put and leave the Sunday breakfast experience to you two. If it wasn’t raining, I’d be there. Any word on the match?

“We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launch of a space rocket.” ~George Carlin

“They cancelled it. They cancelled last night, before the rain even began! I’ve played in worse than this!”

“So you get a day off,” I observe.

“Yeah, but it totally screws up the schedule and I won’t be able to play in the finals if we get there—got another tournament,” he says. “And four other guys have already told me they’re unavailable the weekend of the make-up match. It’s the weekend after the end of regular season—you, know, these guys have families and wives and they’ve already given up most of March and all of April. I can’t believe they cancelled…for this!”

“They were probably thinking about the golf courses—all the potential damage—three inches of rain is a lot, Andrew.”

“It’s not that bad. And it’s up to the individual courses: If they close, they close.”

“Well, you get a day off. You could probably use it. Catch up on your rest,” I suggest.

“Mom, I was asleep before midnight last night. I’m plenty rested,” he says. “I was thinking, ‘I could do cross-fit, but they don’t have it on Sundays.”

“Nice…a day off,” I repeat.

“And I did all my school reading yesterday,” he says, and then adds in a bewildered tone, “I have nothing to do.”

“Ah, nothing to do. That’s difficult.” I say.

“Yeah, Jen says, ‘Just do nothing and enjoy it!’ And I’m like, ‘it’s hard to do nothing!”

“Too weird,” I say. “That’s what I blogged about last week. How difficult it is to do nothing.”

“Yeah, it is hard!”

“So what’d you think I should blog about this week?” I ask.

“Delays,” he says. “They suck.”

“Maybe they happen for a reason…now you can practice doing nothing,” I suggest cheerfully.

“Yeah. Right. Okay, Mom. Anyway, enjoy your coffee.”

“Thanks, honey. Say hi to Jen for me. Enjoy breakfast.”

[Note to self: Keep quiet with observations and cheerful suggestions on rainy Sunday mornings; it's too early yet for wisdom...]

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward.” ~Spanish Proverb

Lots of people say they’d like the chance to just do nothing, as in “if I won the lottery I’d do nothing.” The implication being that “nothing-ness” is comprised of doing only things they want to do and their current job/career is something they’d choose to leave behind.

Sounds easy enough. But doing nothing is about more than that and it takes time to grow into. If you go from doing a lot of “doing” to doing a lot of “nothing” you can die—just look at the alarming death statistics of the newly retired.

This is the problem with doing nothing: the loss of a sense of purpose. And human beings are hardwired to feel better when plugged into a sense of purpose.

“Doing nothing, in the true sense of the word, can be overwhelming if you attempt to do too much nothing at once.” ~zenhabits

Six years ago a good friend asked me a question: “What would you do with three weeks off a month?”

Wow. Wouldn’t that be nice, I remember thinking. Three weeks off a month!

I shot back a few answers—I’d write a book, develop a new program—and he pointed out to me that each had some business/work related correlation. “No,” he said. “What would you do with three weeks OFF each month?”

I couldn’t think of a single thing that fell under the category of “off.” I remember sitting there like a deer in headlights. I realized I didn’t really know what “off” meant. I couldn’t even remember a time when I was truly off; even vacations had been commas in my busy life, not periods.

Consequently, I have spent the intervening years trying to figure it out and have come to a startling realization: it’s difficult to do nada.

“To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization, and at present very few people have reached this level.” ~Bertrand Russell

We are a society that values busy-ness. We think that who we are comes from what we accomplish.

And we are taught from an early age that we must be busy doing something; answering “nothing” to a parental question of “what are you doing?” guaranteed that you would soon be put to work doing something.

So, when we do try to relax, it’s become an unfamiliar feeling and it’s uncomfortable. Anxiety has become a way of life, a current coursing through us at varying levels.

“The object is to keep busy being something…as opposed to doing something. We are all sent here to bring more gratitude, more kindness, more forgiveness and more love into this world. That is too big a job to be accomplished by just a few.” ~Richard Nelson Bolles

One thing I’ve gleaned in my attempts to answer my friend’s question is this: doing nothing is an art; it takes time, focus and a will to learn. Sitting and doing absolutely nada requires practice. The art of doing nothing is an acquired skill. And it can be purposeful.

Some tips:

• Start in little bits. Sit on a park bench intending to do nothing for 5 minutes. Don’t check your smart phone. Don’t bring a book. Don’t make mental “to-do” lists. Consider this to be like stretching before running. Or sit in Starbucks, drink your coffee and do …nothing. Notice how uncomfortable that feels at first.
• Pay attention to your breathing. It’s a method for turning off your chatty brain.
• Notice only what’s working in your life, only what you appreciate. It sort of shoves doing-ness to the side long enough for being-ness to creep in.

It’s taken me six years to learn this much. It will probably take the rest of my life to learn enough to be able to answer my friend’s question.

But I’m working on it, because I now realize that knowing when and how to turn off is an important ingredient in the recipe for a successful life.

It’s become my new purpose: mastering the art of doing nothing.

“Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.”                           ~Satchel Paige

“Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” ~Christopher Reeve

I was raised in a Christian household and so the resurrection was at the crux of our faith and Easter was a day of celebration. I remember the Easter days of my youth fondly primarily for the egg hunts and jellybeans, but also because the day was the harbinger of spring and declared an end to the death-like Lenten restrictions we practiced. In my little girl’s mind Easter somehow represented hope and freedom and new growth.

It still does in my grown up girl’s heart.

Nowadays I no longer hunt for Easter eggs—and no longer hide them, either, my children being grown and gone—but Easter Sunday still evokes a sense of hope, an ear-marked day announced the triumph of life over death, of new possibilities wrought from perceived failures.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. Please remember that your difficulties do not define you. They simply strengthen your ability to overcome.” ~Maya Angelou

Many people look around at the state of the world today and feel very little hope.  Yet, hope is a choice, and a choice that makes more sense to me than choosing no hope. As countless people have proved throughout history, hope coupled with action can change the state of the world.

Perhaps this week you might choose to be one of those people, the world-changers, the ones who focused on changing themselves first. Their courage inspired others, and your courage will inspire others, too.

“He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery.” ~Anne Frank

Regardless of your personal choice of faith, I wish you a future of hope, a past of forgiveness, and a present filled with joy.

But most of all, I wish you a springtime of active creation that displays belief in yourself and inspires hope in the hearts of those around you.

It’ll change your world.

“All the great spiritual leaders in history were people of hope. Abraham, Moses, Ruth, Mary, Jesus, Rumi, Gandhi, and Dorothy Day all lived with a promise in their hearts that guided them toward the future without the need to know exactly what it would look like. Let’s live with hope.” ~Henry J. M. Nouwen

“If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.”  ~Frank A. Clark

Where I left off last week was this: “It’s never ‘work’ if you love it—it’s creation.”

An experience on which I thrive is that of cleaning things up and organizing stuff, straightening up a room, putting things in their place, creating order out of chaos. I lose track of time. And if it is someone else’s place, and I get to add the experience of contribution to the mix, well, it becomes effortless, a thing of joy.

I’ve analyzed this over the years—being a chronic self-observer—and determined that many of my emotional needs are met in this particular “form” most notably control and contribution (not to mention the relatively instant gratification) and so I find it very fulfilling.

And so it is with effortless creation—fulfilling. It may be work, but it doesn’t feel like it.

I was helping my son clean his apartment in preparation of a move week before last. Completely happy, I was busy scrubbing baseboards when Mike fielded a call. Turns out American Airlines wants to profile him in their May in-flight magazine. It just happens that May is their “Mountains” issue and Mike’s brainstorm, the Belly-Bean, was chosen as the “official lap-desk” for DreamQuest’s production filming a Mt. Everest expedition this month by Bill Burke, who at 70 years of age is the oldest person ever to attempt the climb.

American Airlines flies 1.4 million passengers a day.

This is huge.

But here’s the point: I felt no different after hearing the news than I did before that call came in. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing baseboards, feeling completely grateful for being on my hands and knees scrubbing baseboards, completely content doing what I was doing.

After high-fiving my son, I just shook my head and smiled and went back to scrubbing.

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”            ~G.K. Chesterton

Part of the experience of living “in the now” or “with an attitude of gratitude” is the feeling that each and every moment is perfect.

All moments are the same, whether you’re scrubbing baseboards or finding out that millions of people will soon know your son’s name.

Creating what you want starts with gratitude for the smallest every day things.

Eventually, it leads to big things.

Personally, I thought it perfect that I should be on my hands and knees when the news arrived—the Universe has not only a sense of humor but also impeccable timing.

 “Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.”  ~Estonian Proverb

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.” ~Buddha

What’s the most important part of creating what you want?

Imagination? Action? Energy?

They’re all necessary, and I suggest they are the offshoots of the most important part of effortless creation: Clarity.

Clarity is the active ingredient in the recipe for effortless creation. Think of it as the yeast in bread that causes the dough to rise.

I’ve heard from a lot of you with creation examples that felt “effortless.” All these examples were preceded by a moment of clarity. Now, that “moment” might have been years in the making, but there is generally—at some point—a certain clarity achieved wherein an “invitation” is sent out to the universe.

Most people are clearer than they think they are. The problem is they haven’t given themselves permission to want what they want. When you send mixed messages out into the quantum field you get mixed results.

Several of my coaching clients are struggling with life decisions, some of which involve whether or not to stay in their job or marriage. In every case, while listening to them talk in unguarded moments, I can hear their clarity—they know what they want, they just aren’t sure it’s okay to want what they want.

It’s amazing, though, when people do get clear, stuff starts to happen! Clarity provides energy. Energy propels action. Action produces results. It’s the way it works.

“Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation.” ~Teilhard de Chardin

And action brings me back to my favorite topic: Trust.

If you trust your internal voice of truth, your “gut,” then action becomes very simple because it is a natural extension of yourself, a further developing creation of yourself. When you don’t trust that little voice, action becomes fraught with doubts. After years and years of ignoring your internal clarity compass decisions become more anxiety-ridden and fodder for second-guessing yourself.

To me, trust is the flip side—the action side—of the belief coin. Belief alone is not enough. Nor is action sufficient when uncoupled from clarity. Effortless creation results when one marries the two: belief + action = creation.

The “effortlessness” comes into play when you trust that whatever occurs as you take action is in alignment with what you want (long-term) even if it doesn’t appear that way on the surface (short-term).

The “effortlessness” is the feedback loop from your heart to your head, telling you you’re on the right track.

• First, get clear on what you want—use your imagination and give your self permission.
• Next, believe in it. Don’t hope—that’s too passive—believe!
• Then, take action—you will be shown the way. It is a given.

Across the board, every successful, fulfilled person will tell you that while they worked hard to get where they are, it didn’t feel like work.

Clarity does that: wipes away the “drudge smudges” like Windex on a mirror.

It’s never “work” if you love it—it’s creation.

Next week: The conclusion of what has turned into a four-part series on effortless creation wherein I will share the BIGGER NEWS that occurred the day after last week’s Monday Morning Message in which I shared BIG NEWS only this time I can be specific!

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last you create what you will.” ~George Bernard Shaw

“Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had a conversation in an airport ten days ago. After trading stories with a fellow traveler, the woman with whom I was speaking remarked, “Boy, you sure are lucky to be able to spend winters in Mexico! Wish I had your life.” I smiled and thought to myself “Luck had nothing to do with it. I worked toward this dream—I created the opportunity.”

Some people think luck is something that happens to you.  I disagree: I think luck is simply another word for synchronicity. And synchronistic events occur all the time. The trick is noticing them and following where they lead—with calm faith, not frantic hope.

Hope is a good thing for the most part. It can uplift. It can also hold us back because inherent in the hope is often a fear of what will happen if what we hope for doesn’t happen. So, unfortunately many people are feeling fear while they’re thinking hope.

That’s like sending out an invitation to your birthday party—with the wrong address!

Continuing our discussion of effortless creation, I promised you some BIG NEWS. Unfortunately, I must be vague with details until everything’s in writing.

“A set-back is just a set-up for a come-back.” ~Robert Schuler

Story time:

Readers will recall the story of my son’s brainstorm, the Belly-Bean, which was launched in October, 2011, after a two year, step-by-step journey on an oft-times circuitous route.

Then, in January 2012, Michael attended CES, the world’s largest computer related products/services convention in Las Vegas; huge connections were made and opportunities pursued. The Bean will soon be on Bed, Bath & Beyond’s website, as well as available through various distributors in Germany, South Africa, and Australia, and last week brought a request from Singapore.

While Michael worked sourcing new manufacturers to supply larger quantities (as well as a myriad of other details), I acted behind the scenes while in Mexico ensuring I sent accurate “birthday invitations” to the Universe—by focusing on my most important intention: the happiness and well-being of my child. Not the how—the what.

Every single day, at least twice a day, I focused on the following image and allowed myself to really go there, feel it, until my heart was full up and my bloodstream full of joyful peptides that spilled forth through the smile on my face. I imagined, vividly, picking up the phone and hearing my son say “Mom! Guess what?!” followed by whatever good news there would be. I didn’t imagine what that news might be, rather only the sound of Mike’s enthusiastic voice and the joy I would feel as a result. I zoned in and focused on that feeling for at least two minutes twice a day.

And THAT is the important piece of the effortless creation equation: Focusing on Feeling over Form. I wasn’t focused on the Belly-Bean’s success, but rather on my son feeling successful.

In last week’s message I wrote, “Focusing of the form of what you want rather than the feelings associated with the form can both slow down the creation process (think of it as a growth cycle and an early frost hits the crop, retarding the growth process) and cause confusion.”

Here’s the flip side: Focusing on the feelings rather than the form will accelerate the growth cycle.

As it happened, I actually got that call three weeks ago, the day before I began the Back to Being class.

I’d had others before it, certainly, and each time I felt that now familiar sense of joy spring fully grown inside myself, but this call contained a rather jaw-dropping piece of information: a HUGE distribution deal had developed almost overnight. The kind of deal that alters the landscape of one’s life. We’d been down this path before with another company in 2009, but this time Mike is ready; he has a fully developed product and existing distribution streams. That translates into negotiation leverage. I’ll be able to tell you more about it in six weeks or so.

This is as big as it gets for a kid with a good idea. A kid who stayed true to his vision and followed through.

Some people might call him lucky.

Not me.

“Creativity is what makes humanity move. We were created to participate.” ~Keith Jarrett

Luck is created by attitude, belief, and consistency. Nothing new there—A, B, C’s—simple. To me, “luck” is a term we use to describe effortless creation.

Effortless creation occurs by aligning your internal frequency (created by your feelings) with the frequency of what you want. Consider the two as the “To” and “From” fields of an e-mail; without both, the e-mail won’t leave your Out Box. But if you focus on a “form,” let’s say a promotion, but send out your “invite” including the doubts you have about whether you can handle the work, well, then that’s what you’ll get: opportunities to validate your doubts. Because that was the return address you put on the e-mail. That’s what you were feeling, that’s the return address.

Effortless creation demands our attention and full participation; it is an interactive process. It’s imperative to be clear in the “to” and “from” fields.

I could give you a hundred examples from the last few weeks, small everyday examples. I use this one because it is more dramatic and represents years of consistent practice.  And interestingly, because I’ve been feeling the gratitude and excitement internally—daily—for a long time, when that big call came, it was—paradoxically—no big deal.

Nothing in my life has changed. I’m not any happier because of the possibilities. I’d addressed a lot of envelopes, so the party is no surprise. It doesn’t feel “lucky;” it’s more like “well, of course!” It was like an old friend flying into town for my birthday party because she got my invite; her presence was the surprise, not the party itself.

It’s important to put a correct address on our invitations so “luck” knows how to find us.

And don’t be surprised if she comes wrapped in a way you would never have imagined.

“The more I practice, the luckier I get.” ~Gary Player.